Being a former bride myself, it was all too real when the “now due” notifications come in, approximately 2 weeks to 1 month before the wedding. Suddenly, everything was a little bit more overwhelming, a little less magical, and somewhere in my head, a little voice said, “What are REALLY the reasons why I wanted this trapeze performer/6-piece swing band/life-size ice sculpture that costs X amount of dollars..?”
Gone are the days of tradition when the bride’s family or the groom’s family pays for the entire wedding, and in fact, many modernized couples are now taking it upon themselves to throw the fete. So the burning question may arise. When monetary help is needed, how does one ask for it without it being awkward? Money is a fickle thing and it’s human nature for people to protect it, at all costs. There is no straight answer. Of course, it’s dependent a variety of different factors - family income, interpersonal relationships, customs… the list goes on. But in the event that one DOES have and needs the opportunity, here are some tips: 1) Express your commitment to your family and loved ones. Be true and make it about them. This is a celebration of love, first and foremost, and they are a part of that. 2) Tell them what your wedding means to you. A lot of times, people are reluctant to help because they are unsure of the reasons why you have chosen what you’ve chosen. So be completely genuine. 3) Understand their standpoint. There are people that love you and are committed to your happiness, but sometimes circumstances are just glaringly present. Listen to their concerns if this is something that is standing in the way from them contributing. 4) Honor their commitment to you, come to a conclusion, and figure out what will work for the both of you. And respect what decision ends up being made. If it’s a “no”, it does not mean that their commitment to your happiness is anything less.
5) Don’t argue. As much as you want to express your standpoint, it will only add to the stress. Openly honest relationships doesn’t just reside in romantic settings! I hope you find this useful. Good luck and until next time,
Kimberly